He Is The Air
by Fruits Of Passion
Summary: Makoto is the same as air to Haruka, essential to his life and without him he feels like he's suffocating. While his heart belongs to another Haruka has to cope with his life line being taken away, deciding whether it's time to sink or swim. MakoHaru.
1. Chapter 1

_So I did a little oneshot called It Had Been Two Months and this is the story that came out of it :) hope you like it_

_Also like to thank Zaabeth for helping to iron out all the kinks in this chapter_

…

Haruka sulked slightly as he scanned the various shopping aisles surrounding him, his best friend's hand tightly wrapped around his wrist, dragging him along and keeping him close at all times. He wanted to roughly pull from the hold, he wanted to say that he had no reason to be here, he wanted to leave and jump into the nearest body of water, but instead he stayed. The warmth he received from the skin to skin contact kept him tethered to Makoto.

Makoto glanced over his shoulder, offering his friend a quick smile. There was something about the smile that was a bit difficult to discern, but if Haruka had to place it, he would say the smile was a mixture of apology, gratefulness, and reassurance. Apology that Makoto was dragging him around the shops on the weekend, gratefulness that he didn't have to do this alone, and reassurance that they'd be finished soon enough.

Although he never offered a smile in return, Haruka knew that Makoto understood his look of acceptance. He knew Makoto would make this as painless as possible.

Ordinarily he didn't mind helping Makoto. In fact he'd do anything just to see that little smile on his face. But today was different. Today he wasn't shopping for some must-have toy for the twins, some tool essential for his dad's DIY, some food his mother had forgotten to pick up. Today he was helping Makoto buy a gift for Gou.

That was the reason he was dragging his heels, the reason he wanted to run and never look back, the reason he wanted to scream. He still hadn't managed to control his jealousy, hadn't managed to accept their relationship, hadn't managed to push his feelings for Makoto back into the realms of friendship.

It had been exactly three months since they'd gotten together, and Haruka knew this for a fact. It was a fact that Gou had no issues flaunting, telling anyone who would listen, throwing it in Haruka's face at every chance she got. That she and Makoto were and official couple.

…

Haruka leant against the wall, his shoulder brushing against Makoto's, eating lunch as the only pair on the roof. In his typical mother hen style Makoto was insisting he shared his food with the other, claiming Haruka couldn't live on mackerel.

He offered the taller male an indignant look but still leaned in and ate the food being offered to him, heart fluttering at the treatment he was currently receiving, the treatment that was usually reserved for Gou.

"Mako-chan!" A voice called out, almost as if the mere thought of her name had summoned her.

He resisted the urge to glare at the younger girl, instead choosing to lean back and cross his arms. School was his time with Makoto, they had different friends and tended to stick with them, occasionally they'd be together – Gou would always make a big deal out of him if she saw him in passing – but it was mostly outside of school hours they spent in each other's company.

Haruka usually had to share his time with Makoto with Nagisa and Rei, but today the two had somewhere else they needed to be. Haruka hadn't been overly bothered by the details, only recognizing the opportunity to finally get Makoto to himself. But then she'd shown up. Haruka was sick of sharing, and although it was selfish, he wanted his best friend back.

"Gou-chan?" The boy asked, turning slightly to see her dropping to her knees beside him.

Haruka inwardly groaned as Makoto's back was pressed further into his shoulder with Gou's added weight, their kisses ringing in his ears.

"What did you need?" Makoto asked when he was finally released, although his back was to him he could still sense Haruka's unimpressed mood.

"Do you know what this Saturday is?" She asked, eyes sparkling with excitement.

"This Saturday?" Makoto repeated the question, trying to find a reason in the back of his mind as to why it should hold some significance to him.

"The 25th?" Haruka offered, hoping to end this conversation and rid himself of the girl.

"No." Gou shook her head with a laugh, Haruka hating how it caused Makoto to smile. "Well technically it _is_ but it's also something far more important."

"Rin's coming to stay?" Makoto suggested.

"No. It's our three month anniversary!" She exclaimed.

"Oh, you're right!" Makoto nodded. "We'll have to do something special then."

"Really? Oh, Mako-chan you're the best!" She squealed, throwing herself yet again at the boy.

Haruka audibly groaned as the couple once again used him as a support, though it failed to separate the pair, far too caught up in each other to notice he was even there.

He couldn't understand how Makoto put up with her, the constant giggling, shrieking and blushing whenever he was around, her manipulative eyes that managed to get him to do anything – and worse think it was his idea – and her fake sulks when she didn't have his constant full attention. He must like her a lot for these things to not bother him. The thought only served to anger Haruka further.

He roughly pushed the couple, hoping to knock her off but Makoto's solid back took most of the impact, the girl being completely unaffected and still showering the other with kisses.

"Three months." She breathed once she pulled back.

"A quarter of a year." He laughed.

"Can you believe it Haru?" She asked, dragging him into their world.

He remained silent for a while, his mind reeling from the name, she had no right to call him that, only his close friends could call him that and she most certainly didn't fall into that category.

"No, I can't." He said eventually, the girl smiling at his answer before pulling Makoto's lips back to hers, this time using the wall as their support rather than him.

I can't believe he's stayed with you, if it was up to me he wouldn't have, he added in his head before pushing himself up. Gathering his belongings he walked away from the pair, his feet subconsciously leading him towards the pool.

"Haru!" Makoto's voice called after him but he didn't stop, he'd had all he could handle of the couple for one day. If he needed him that badly he knew where to find him.

Eventually Haruka made it to the pool, quickly discarding his clothes before diving in, the cool water hitting him and holding him. He usually came here to relax, take away any worries he had and to just be one with the water, but it didn't work anymore. Even lying on the base and staring up at the sky through the ripples couldn't clear his mind. Makoto and Gou still occupied his thoughts.

He stayed in the pool until he heard the bell, indicating the end of lunch, his heart heavy as he pulled himself out, Makoto didn't come for him. Gou had won again, she'd managed to take the precious time they had together and make it about her.

…

It had been four days since that lunchtime, four days since all Makoto could talk about was spoiling his girlfriend, four days since Haruka realised he was losing him a little more each day.

"What about this, Haru-chan?" Makoto asked, holding out a necklace with a small plain, silver dolphin charm on it.

"Drop the 'chan'." He muttered in fake annoyance, truth was he loved the nickname he'd been given. "Does she like dolphins?" He asked, eyeing up the necklace.

"I don't think so." He shook his head. "Maybe I should give it you instead."

"It's been thirteen years, I'd expect more than just a necklace." Haruka said, smiling slightly as he heard Makoto's laugh echo off the walls as he placed the necklace back on the shelf.

"I think thirteen years of my friendship is enough of a gift." He squeezed Haruka's shoulders before heading further down the aisle, eyes trailing the shelves.

Haruka found his cheeks burning slightly. Unfortunately this was his normal reaction whenever Makoto would touch him unexpectedly. Luckily the latter never seemed to notice.

"If she doesn't like dolphins what does she like?" Haruka questioned, quickly catching up to his friend.

"Girl stuff." Makoto shrugged. "Make-up, jewellery, clothes, accessories, flowers, water. Though not to your extent." He said, offering the smaller boy a wink and earning another blush. "But beyond that I'm stumped, some boyfriend huh?"

"She seems happy." Haruka added.

"Hopefully." He nodded, lifting up a bracelet to examine it before placing it back in its position with a shake of the head.

"Even if she does only like you for your biceps." He grumbled bitterly, Gou was always blushing and complimenting Makoto's looks, but did she not realise his worth ran deeper than that? Did she not realise he was a perfect person inside and out?

"Beyond that what have I got going for me?" Makoto joked.

You're caring, you're considerate, you're always there for your friends, your exterior masks the pure heart inside, you still use me for protection whenever you're scared, you have a perfect smile, you have the warmest eyes and you can understand me perfectly. Without having to say any words I know you understand what I'm feeling, sometimes even better than I do myself.

But he couldn't bring himself to say these words aloud.

"That's true." He nodded instead, choosing to just go along with the joke.

"And that's why, after thirteen years, you still haven't got a gift. You need to appreciate me more, Haru." He laughed, dropping to his knees to view the items on the bottom shelves.

"You don't understand how much I appreciate you." He whispered to himself, Makoto oblivious to the fact he'd spoken.

Slowly, Haruka bent his legs bringing himself down to Makoto's height, the pair cluelessly eyeing the rows of sparkling jewels in front of them.

"Maybe I should have brought Nagisa." Makoto commented, stretching back to his full height.

"Am I not good enough?" Haruka huffed, crossing his arms.

"I didn't mean that." He said, rubbing the back of his neck and smiling, his eyes fluttering shut as he did, a look that Haruka loved. "He just seems to know more about this stuff, he'd have filled my arms with potential gifts by now."

Haruka wanted to feel offended but he knew that he had a point. When Makoto had asked him about this shopping trip he'd almost suggested bringing Nagisa instead, it was on the tip of his tongue. But the thought of spending the day alone with Makoto had pushed the suggestion down, rather, he accepted the offer himself while making a show of begrudgingly doing so, making Makoto feel that he owed him.

"How about this?" Haruka asked, grabbing the first ring that caught his eye, showing he was just as good as Nagisa. He blushed slightly at his current position, knelt down on one knee offering a ring towards his best friend, the taller boy unaware of their compromising situation. Makoto eyed up the ring in his fingers, head tilted slightly as he assessed it, a plain silver band with a large turquoise gem, like water trapped inside a ring.

"Oh Haru, it's perfect." He gushed, grabbing the ring from his outstretched hand.

"Great." He said, standing up again, trying to ignore the whispers and stares from the young girls also shopping.

Usually he was unaffected by others, never bothered by their opinions, but when he was around Makoto his senses seemed overly aware, he noticed every look, every touch, every movement, every voice around him.

Currently, he was conscious of the smiles shot in the pair's direction as Makoto swung his arm around his neck in a friendly gesture, but the fellow shoppers had likely already made their assumptions, viewing their relationship and the gesture as something it wasn't.

Haruka let himself pretend for a moment, pretend that Makoto was his, pretend that he could hold him whenever he wanted, pretend that when Makoto fell asleep at night it was his face he saw, pretend that the person his heart beat for returned his feelings.

"She's going to love it." Makoto commented, bringing Haruka crashing back to reality.

Although he could pretend all he wanted, he could never have what he desired. Makoto's heart would always belong to Gou.

…

Once the ring had been successfully purchased the pair walked home from the shops, the sun setting behind them. They used the usual route along the beach, Haruka noticing how the sun reflected perfectly in sea, casting light into Makoto's eyes, making the green orbs shine.

"Thanks for today Haru, I appreciate it." Makoto said as the pair turned onto their street, Haruka shrugging casually in response.

The pair came to a stop outside Haruka's door, Makoto smiling down at the other boy, his shoulder leaning gently against the wall while Haruka fumbled with his keys.

Haruka wondered if this was what it had been like with Gou, walking her back to her door, Makoto's smile causing butterflies so powerful without his knowledge, making her feel like she was the only person in the world, the only person that mattered.

"Mako…" He started but was cut off by the shrill ring of a cell phone.

Makoto offered a quick apologetic look before answering, Haruka silently cursing the timing, knowing full well who would be on the other end.

"Hello Gou-chan." Makoto said, confirming Haruka's suspicions.

"Yeah, I hadn't forgotten." He laughed, giving the other boy a look that he could only weakly return.

"I might have done." Makoto said, eyes dropping to the bag in his hand, Haruka rolling his eyes, knowing what she was asking about.

"You'll just have to wait and see." He offered the shorter boy a quick wave before heading towards his own house, his voice become nothing more than a slight whisper on the wind.

Haruka continued to watch him, his heart aching, until he was gone, all that remained was the empty steps outside his home.

Why couldn't Makoto see how shallow she was? Why couldn't he understand how much better he could do? Why couldn't he realise that there was already someone waiting to love him?

With a sigh, Haruka let himself into his house, his feet padding across the floor towards the bathroom, hoping the water would sooth him and help him forget about his best friend, even though he knew it wouldn't work.

Instead, he lay in the water until his skin started to pucker, listening to the sounds of moving water echo through his empty house, his mind constantly imagining Makoto's night, Gou smiling across at him as he presented her with his gift.

His mind created a variety of different scenarios until he finally admitted defeat and went to bed, where the scenarios finally changed and it was he who was sat across the table from Makoto, rather than someone who didn't deserve him.

…

_Let me know what you think :)_


	2. Chapter 2

_I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who reviewed, favourited and followed, so many of you and it made me feel really happy :)_

_And thanks again to __Zaabeth for helping_

…

Haruka floated in the sea, his body rising and falling with the currents and waves, the relaxing smell of salt assaulting his nose. The noises of someone making their way through the ocean caught his attention, causing him to push his feet to the ground and seek out the sound's origin.

He looked towards the shore and saw Makoto forcing his way through the surfs, eagerly waving at his friend as the water dripped off his chest. Haruka watched him in confusion. Although Makoto was getting better with his fear he still avoided the ocean when possible, not seeking it out so willingly.

"Haru-chan!" He called out once he was closer.

Haruka wanted to tell him to drop the chan, but he found he was rendered speechless, his eyes soaking in the way Makoto's body almost glistened in the sun.

"Haru!" The object of his observation shouted once at his side, his voice sounding distant despite how close they now stood.

Haruka nodded dumbly in response before he felt two strong arms wrap around his waist, pulling him into the taller boy's chest. Haruka inhaled deeply, all smells of the sea gone, instead replaced with the scents of Makoto. No amount of products in the world could smell as perfect as the boy.

"Haru." Makoto said, softer this time, gently brushing aside some of his wet bangs. Haruka felt electric just from the touch.

"What are you doing here?" He managed to ask, looking up to meet green eyes, so close he could count the brown flecks.

But Makoto didn't answer, instead he just repeated his name, his breath against his ear causing a shiver to go down Haruka's spin. He brought his arms up and wrapped them around his friend's broad shoulders, feeling each individual muscle under his skin.

"Haru-chan." Makoto said, lightly chuckling at his friend.

Suddenly, Haruka felt like he was being shook, but not with the movement of the waves. It was a force far stronger than that.

Slowly, sleepy eyes began to open and he found himself lying in his bed, a hand placed on his shoulder as he was moved with a gentle shaking motion.

"Good morning Haru-chan. Or should I say good afternoon." Makoto smiled, tilting his head to one side.

"Makoto? What are you doing here?" Haruka asked groggily, pulling his hands back in embarrassment when he realised they were tightly gripping his friend's shirt. He was thankful that he was woken from quite a mild dream. If it had been one of his more intense fantasies, he would have had a difficult situation to explain to Makoto.

"I came to get you for practice, but I had at least expected you to have had a bath by now." He laughed.

"I went to bed late." He shrugged, pushing himself so that he was now sitting, keeping his eyes fixed on the ground.

Recently, he could find very few reasons to get out of bed on the weekends, with Makoto always occupied with Gou his days just seemed to stretch, rattling around his house alone.

"Where's Gou?" He asked as he felt his bed sag with Makoto's added weight.

"She's out with her friend." He explained, leaning back on his arms and staring at the ceiling.

Haruka turned to look at his friend, taking in every last detail of him while the latter was unaware. His plump lips that were gently blowing out air, his defined jawline, his strong chest, his muscular arms that tensed as he leant against them.

"We should get going." Makoto finally said, pushing himself up.

Haruka frowned lightly.

"If Gou's out then why are we having this practice?" He questioned. As their manager she usually arranged their practices, the boys having a tendency of finding other activities to distract them without her gentle nagging.

"Nagisa's idea. He wants to see if he can get Rei to learn some new strokes." Makoto said, holding out his hand for Haruka.

With a quick smile Haruka reached up and took hold of the hand, letting the taller boy pull him out of his bed.

"Fine." Haruka relented. "But I'm having something to eat before we go." He kept hold of Makoto's hand, blushing slightly when he realised his friend made no attempts to let go either.

"I guess I can allow that." Makoto laughed, finally dropping his hand as he turned around. "Get ready and I'll wait for you in the kitchen."

Haruka watched as he walked out the room, sighing and running his fingers through his hair. Why did he have to develop these feelings? Life was much easier when Makoto was just his best friend and nothing more. Groaning he kicked a pair of discarded shoes across the room, cringing slightly as they clattered across the wooden floor.

…

Once dressed, Haruka joined Makoto in the kitchen, who stood up from the table when he saw him walk in.

"I'm impressed, I expected you to just be in your swim shorts." Makoto said, his carefree smile gracing his face once again.

In response, Haruka just rolled his eyes, choosing not to mention that he was wearing them underneath for easy access.

Makoto leant against the counter and watched his friend take ingredients out of the fridge to beginning cooking.

"Mackeral? Really?" He asked in disbelief. It was a wonder how could he not get tired of the same food day after day.

Haruka just shrugged in response, Makoto groaning loudly and letting his shoulders slump as he heard the familiar sizzle of fish against the hot pan.

"You need to vary your diet, Haru." He scolded, still not getting a single word out of him. "Haru, you listening? Haru?"

Tired of being ignored Makoto reached out a finger and sharply poked Haruka in his side, the boy jumping away in shock from the unexpected contact.

"Is Haru-chan ticklish?" Makoto asked, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

"No, I'm not." He said, trying to keep his face neutral, his body betraying him by squirming every time Makoto's finger touched him.

The finger was replaced by a whole hand, another quickly joining, the tips dancing across his skin.

"Makoto, stop." He tried to move away but he was trapped. Haruka could feel the heat from the chest stood just behind his back.

Makoto didn't stop. Instead he increased his pace, watching in satisfaction as Haruka writhed under his touch.

"Please." He begged, cursing as a small laugh escaped his lips.

He hadn't wanted to get carried away, knowing he would only end up reading too much into the situation. Haruka had seen Makoto pin Ren and Ran to the ground with tickles numerous times, this moment wasn't any different. Makoto would always comment on how close they were, comparing them to brothers, and this was just a brotherly display of affection.

But, despite reminding himself of this, he couldn't help but imagine it was something more. Perhaps Makoto was just looking for small reasons to touch him? Perhaps this was his shy way of letting Haruka know he felt something more too?

"I will stop if you promise me something." Makoto laughed, his deep chuckle echoing through Haruka's mind.

"Anything." He replied breathlessly.

"You will stop eating mackerel for breakfast, lunch and dinner." Haruka nodded at his request, expecting Makoto to stop but his relief never came. Instead the hands moved from his hips to his stomach.

Unable to control himself Haruka giggled helplessly, his body shaking, falling backwards into his friend's chest. He hated, yet loved, every minute of his torture.

"You said you'd stop." He complained through his laughs.

"I did, but I love hearing you laugh." He explained, Haruka's cheeks flushing at the confession.

All too quickly Makoto pulled away, reaching into his pocket to grab his now ringing phone.

"Hey." His cheerful voice exclaimed as he answered the phone.

Haruka's spirits waned, hating how he could tell just from the tone who was on the other end. The loving voice Makoto used only for Gou.

He looked back at his fish – almost forgetting he was cooking something in the heat of the moment. Seeing the less-than-ideal sight, he groaned. One side was burnt and the other not even cooked. He flipped the fish over, knowing he wouldn't enjoy his meal as much as usual.

"Haru?" Makoto's voice called out, bringing him back to reality. He had stopped listening altogether when his friend had answered the phone.

"Yes?" He looked towards the other.

"Be quick, okay? I told Nagisa we'd be there half an hour ago." He smiled, pulling his hand away from his speaker and returning to his conversation. "Of course I was listening Gou-chan."

Haruka turned back to his cooking with a heavy heart. In Makoto's eyes he would always be a little brother that he tolerated, loved because he had to and never anything more.

…

"Where's Gou?" Nagisa asked as Haruka and Makoto arrived at the pool. Clearly he wasn't the only one who thought it strange to see the pair separated on a weekend.

"Shopping." Makoto laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I saw her last night anyway."

"Yes, it was the big anniversary dinner." Rei commented, stretching out his body. "How did it go?"

"Good thanks, we had a great time."

"Did she like the present?" Nagisa asked, bounding up to his captain.

"Yeah, she did." Makoto said, shooting a thankful smile in Haruka's direction.

"How much did she like it?" Nagisa questioned, raising his eyebrows quickly.

"Nagisa." Rei scolded, letting his arms drop it his side, but the blonde ignored him, continuing to look up at Makoto with wide eyes.

"I'm not giving you all the details." Makoto said, his cheeks becoming pink.

"So something did happen!" Nagisa exclaimed in excitement, causing Makoto's blush to brighten. "Come on, we're all friends here and we want to know."

"I'm not bothered." Haruka stated, the young boy turning to glare at him but he didn't change his mind. The last thing he wanted was all the sordid details of Makoto's night with Gou.

"Then don't listen." Nagisa shrugged, turning back toward Makoto.

"Nagisa." Makoto sighed, grabbing the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "I'm going to get changed."

He reached down and grabbed his bag, walking towards the changing room. The excitable boy followed close behind.

"No fair Mako-chan!" He exclaimed. "You can't leave me hanging like this."

Haruka watched them leave with a sigh, guilt slowly encasing his heart. Not once had he asked Makoto about his date. The whole time he ate his breakfast, the whole walk here there wasn't a single mention of Gou. For someone who claimed to care deeply about Makoto he hadn't been taking much of an interest in his life recently.

"Don't you need to change too, Haru-senpai?" Rei asked, turning only to see a pile of clothes where Haruka had once been, the boy in question now submerged within the pool's cool water.

Rei shook his head slightly and continued his stretches, waiting for his other team mates to return.

…

Haruka only stopped swimming when he noticed Nagisa and Makoto walking back out into the sun. With a few swift kicks, he brought his feet to the bottom of the pool, standing tall in the water. Judging by the smug look on Nagisa's face, the persistence had worked and Makoto had caved, giving Nagisa all the details from last night.

"I think I'm going to have an ice lolly." The young boy declared loudly.

Nagisa strutted over to the cool box, aware of three sets of eyes following him, and reached in to pull a treat out. They were usually reserved for after practice but the boy clearly decided he deserved one now.

He slowly brought the ice to his mouth, loudly slurping and sucking as it passed his lips, nodding his head in Makoto's direction. Haruka gasped slightly at the implication while Rei just shook his head.

"Nagisa!" Makoto shouted, having watched his whole act. "You said if I told you that you'd keep it to yourself."

"I didn't say anything." Nagisa feigned innocence.

"But you might as well have just come out here and announced it." He groaned, hiding his face in his hands in embarrassment.

"Fine, Makoto got a…" He started but was soon cut off.

"Don't you even dare." Makoto warned.

"Okay, it can be our little secret Mako-chan." He smiled up at the boy who responded by letting himself drop into the pool, refusing to make eye contact with the other two members as he began swimming laps.

…

Haraku watched as Nagisa held his hands under Rei's back as he practiced his backstroke, pulling away slightly when he thought he'd mastered it only to quickly replace them as he watched his friend begin to sink. That was when he noticed a distinct lack of ripples through the water. Haruka turned to see Makoto no longer aggressively lapping the pool, instead resting on the side, head still down.

He swam over to him, catching his eye and tilting his head to one side in question.

"I'm fine Haru." He laughed, trying to forget his earlier embarrassment.

Haruka gave him a look that implied he didn't believe his act for a second.

"Really, I'm alright." He smiled.

The other boy finally nodded before swimming away slightly.

"Haru?" Makoto called out, causing the boy to freeze and turn around. "Aren't you forgetting something?" Makoto held his hand up where a pair of goggles hung off his fingers.

He slowly slid back into the pool, and Haruka held his hand out for his possession. But Makoto held them above his head, out of reach for the smaller boy.

"And what do I get in return if I give these to you?" Makoto asked, smirking down at the boy.

Haruka wasn't one to play in a pool, he preferred to swim, preferred to feel the water surrounding him, but the teasing glint in Makoto's eye challenged him, he couldn't resist. He jumped quickly, hoping to catch the taller boy off guard and get the goggles, however, he didn't count on Makoto being able to read his every movement. The goggles were soon thrown to his other hand and behind his back, rendering Haruka's action useless.

"I'm not giving up that easy Haru-chan." He laughed as Haruka tried to reach behind him, the act only resulting in his chest being pressed against the others and a blush on his cheeks, the goggles still untouched.

He groaned and tried to move around the taller boy but Makoto mimicked his movement and the prize still remained annoyingly out of reach. It seemed Makoto had made it his mission for the day to tease him, and if he was being completely honest with himself, he wasn't complaining.

"I need those." Haruka lied, he'd been swimming fine without them earlier but he was enjoying the dance the two of them were doing through the water.

"You're going to have to offer me something before I give them up." He joked.

"You can have anything you want from me." He mumbled, far too honestly for his liking.

"Oh Haru-chan, you shouldn't make these sorts promises." He shook his head with a smile, Haruka thankful he'd missed the truth in his voice. "I've got all sorts of ideas going through my mind."

"Like what?" He whispered, stopping in the water and pressing his body fully against his.

"H-Haru?" Makoto questioned, eyes widening ever so slightly.

"Mako-chan!" A high pitched voice called out, causing the boy in question to drop the goggles and jump back from his friend.

"Gou-chan? What are you doing here?" He asked, turning towards his girlfriend.

Haruka watched as the goggles slowly sunk to the bottom of the pool, once again his time with Makoto had been cut short, whether it was a phone call or turning up in person, Gou always ruined it. He let his body drop under water, reaching out for the goggles that he'd been previously fighting for. Resurfacing, he noticed Makoto was already out the pool, standing by the girl's side. He watched as the male gently brushed her hair from her face. Haruka's cheeks flushed slightly as he thought back to his dream, Makoto providing him with that same caring gesture.

"Stop, you're getting my hair wet." Gou giggled, letting the boy pull her into a soggy embrace anyway. He then greeted the friend she'd brought with her over her head.

"Gou! You're ruining it for everyone." Nagisa called out, voicing Haruka's thoughts but far more playfully.

"How so?" She glared, pulling away from Makoto.

"We just wanted some fun but now we've got our manager bossing us around." He responded, sticking his tongue out at her.

"I'm not here to boss you around, just here for the view." She replied, then blushed, trailing a finger down Makoto's chiselled chest.

The action caused Haruka to slap the water in anger and push himself from the pool, although his response went unnoticed by most around him. He walked over to the couple with a scowl on his face.

"Hello Nanase-kun." Gou's friend said, smiling at the boy as he arrived.

He nodded at her in acknowledgment, he'd seen her with Gou before but had never cared to learn her name or converse with her. He saw Makoto giving him a firm look, silently telling him to treat her politely.

"Hello." He said in return, the girl blushing slightly at his greeting.

"Go on boys, carry on swimming. Act like we're not here." Gou said, linking her arms with the other girl and pulling her away to the stands, the pair whispering furiously as they did.

"Come on Haru-chan." Makoto gestured with his head and walked back towards the pool's edge.

"Drop the 'chan'." He muttered, following after him.

Makoto paused a few steps before the water, pulling an arm across his chest and stretching, each muscle in his back contracting perfectly. Haruka stopped in his tracks, watching in awe as Makoto repeated the action with his other arm. Finishing, he dropped his arms to his side and continued walking towards the pool, only for a voice to call out to him.

"No! You haven't stretched out enough, Makoto." Gou teased, watching him with the usual glazed over eyes.

Makoto shot his girlfriend a wink over his shoulder before holding his arm above his head and pulling it in another stretch, Gou biting her lip as she stared. Annoyed, Haruka began moving towards the stretching boy and with a quick push he fell into the pool, the splash so powerful it hit him, water dripped from his hair.

"Haru." Makoto moaned as he resurfaced.

"You were taking too long." He shrugged.

Makoto gave him a look and brought his hand out of the water, reaching it towards him. But before he could make a grab for the other boy's legs Nagisa jumped on his back, sending him, once again, crashing under the water.

He sprung up and turned to face the younger boy, his eyes narrowed playfully.

"I was just cooling you off." Nagisa offered weakly as an excuse before Makoto leapt at him.

The pair raced around the pool, as fast as they could against the resistant water, splashing each other, their laughs ringing out from the pool.

Haruka watched them – Nagisa dragging Rei in so he could be used as a shield, Makoto intent on getting Nagisa back whatever the cost – and he felt the corners of his lips tugging up slightly as he stood there.

But as he turned towards the two girls, the smile quickly faded. Gou's eyes were fixed on Makoto, her face brimming with pride as she chatted, probably boasting about last night and what she'd done with him. He watched as she leaned in to whisper to the other girl, not-so-subtly pointing at Haruka as she did. Her friend looked up and caught his eye, waving slightly at him. Haruka offered an awkward wave in return before she blushed and looked back down. Gou giggled at the exchange and quickly winked at Haruka, who just looked away in confusion.

Pushing the pair to the back of his mind he jumped into the water, deciding if Nagisa was using Rei, then Makoto deserved a partner in this fight.

…

_Hope everyone liked it :)_


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks again to Zaabeth for helping me :) my little angel_

…

Haruka slowly made his ways down the steps from his house, his feet dragging as he went. He walked the familiar route to Makoto's house – he hadn't called in advance, but with the amount of times Makoto had turned up unannounced he assumed it wouldn't be a problem. When he reached the door he hesitated before knocking, knowing he'd be pinned to the ground by Ren and Ran if he did. And although he loved them he wasn't in the mood right now.

Instead, he walked around the house and let himself in through the back door. Once inside he noted the calm air in the house, and deciding the twins were out he strode through the corridors towards Makoto's door.

When he reached his destination he found himself frozen. What if he was in there with Gou? He'd seen them kiss plenty of times but alone in his bedroom they'd be far more intimate. It was something that would haunt his mind if he did unfortunately walk in on such a situation. He moved his head closer for any tell-tale sounds, but judging by the silence Makoto was either reading or was out with the rest of his family.

Haruka opened the door. His unexpected intrusion was met with silence. Makoto wasn't here. He walked in further and took in all the small details of his best friend's room.

Discarded glasses on the side, an empty contact-lens packet next to them. An open book, face down to save the page. A dresser left open from where someone had changed in a hurry before leaving, school clothes thrown haphazardly on the bed. A bed that had been perfectly made, despite how much of a rush Makoto might have been in, the tail of his tatty, old orca teddy that he liked to keep hidden poking out from under his pillow. The space above his bed filled with pictures that his younger siblings had drawn for him, and one by Haruka himself that the twins insisted was placed with pride alongside their own masterpieces.

Haruka walked over to Makoto's bed, his eyes trying not to focus on the new addition of a framed picture of Makoto and Gou smiling happily under a blossoming tree. He lay down on the bed, eyes fluttering closed in contentment. He knew he couldn't stay here for long but for now he didn't care – for now he felt at home.

He turned to his side and reached for the orange and yellow shirt that Makoto slept in, he held it close and breathed in. The smell of Makoto filling his senses, imagining they were lying here together. Imagining he wasn't clinging desperately to a shirt but instead was holding the real thing.

The sounds of movement caused his blood to turn cold and eyes to shoot open, quickly pushing himself up on the bed. Although the room was still empty he knew there was someone in the house, he gently stood and left, hoping to find Makoto as the source of the sound.

He walked through hall towards the noise, realising someone was in the kitchen. His heart dropped instantly when he noticed the red head at the sink. Gou. Haruka clenched his fists slightly when he noticed Makoto's large shirt covering her, a skirt just peeping out underneath. He used to always offer Haruka a shirt when he came over after school for comfort, but clearly that gesture was transferable.

"Jesus!" Gou cried out, turning to see another figure in the room, the teapot in her hands clattering to the ground. "When did you get here?" She asked, dropping to her knees to clean the spilt water.

"Not long ago." Haruka shrugged, grabbing the teapot and refilling it.

"Right, well Makoto just went to go get something from the shop." She explained, standing tall and reaching for the pot. "He'll be back soon."

Haruka just nodded in response, watching as she placed the pot on the stove, his eyes closing in on the ring she was wearing with pride. The ring he's stupidly picked out for her.

"Can I get you a drink?" She offered, trying to fill the silence.

Haruka's eyes narrowed at her back, did she really think he was her guest? As if she was more a part of this family than he was?

"I'll get it myself." He murmured, walking over to the cupboard.

"Could you grab me a mug from the top shelf?" She asked, Haruka rolling his eyes at her question.

He'd been coming here since he was four, he knew his way around, he didn't need her reminding him where everything was kept. He could do this blindfolded. He used to find his way around in the dark when Makoto was too scared to get his own water, long before Gou had even been in the picture.

Roughly handing Gou a mug he took his glass of water and sat at the table, refusing to say anything more to the girl.

Gou sighed and made her tea, and despite his resistance she still went and sat with him. She placed herself down across from his and stared at her steaming drink.

"Haruka, we need to talk." Gou said quietly, never once looking up.

"We do?" He questioned, uninterested in what she had to say.

"Yeah." She took a long sip from her drink before continuing. "I know."

"Know what?" He sighed, getting tired of these games.

"About how you feel." She admitted, finally looking up into his widened eyes.

After a moment of tense silence, Haruka spoke.

"H-how?" He stuttered nervously. If she had found out, how long would it be before she told Makoto?

"Well you haven't exactly been subtle about it." She replied with a small laugh. "But I don't understand why."

"You don't understand why?" He questioned, surely out of everyone she'd be the one who understood the most.

"But we don't have to tell Makoto, we can sort this out ourselves." She smiled warmly at him.

"How?" He questioned again, a little worried where she could be going with this.

"Look Haruka, you're my boyfriend's best friend, I want us to get along. I know we've never been close but I never realised how strongly you felt about me."

Haruka blinked.

"Oh." He muttered quietly. So that was the reason she assumed he was so distant to the couple – not because of his love for Makoto but instead due to his hatred for Gou.

"So do you think you could try? I'd really like us to be friends." Gou reached across the table and placed her hand on top of his. "I know it really would make Makoto happy."

Haruka looked at their hands for a brief moment, and then raised his eyes to Gou's earnest face. He knew he would agree, but it wouldn't be for her sake. It was and always would be for Makoto.

"Okay." He accepted. "I'll try."

Gou smiled. "Thank you."

"I'm back!" Makoto's voice boomed through the house. Haruka quickly pulled his hand back, not wanted to feel as if he was currently betraying his friend.

"In the kitchen." Gou called back, wrapping her hand back around her tea.

"Hey." Makoto said, arriving in the kitchen and placing a kiss on Gou's head. "Haru-chan? What are you doing here?"

"He's been keeping me company." Gou replied, giving him a quick wink.

"Really?" Makoto asked with a smile.

"Yeah." Haruka nodded slightly, feeling butterflies in his stomach as the smile on Makoto's face widened at the idea.

"Anyway." Gou announced, clasping her boyfriend's hand in her own. "I'm going to have to love you and leave you because I promised mum I'd cook dinner." She pushed herself to her feet, giving Makoto a quick embrace before making her way out of the room. "I just need to get changed."

Makoto smiled at her as she left, picking up Gou's empty cup and taking it over to the sink. Haruka watched his movements, his friend going through the motions of cleaning the already perfect kitchen.

"Where is everyone?" Haruka asked to break the silence.

"Ren and Ran have a club after school and mum and dad are still at work." He said, turning to face Haruka. "So, it's just us."

"Yeah, just us." Haruka said quietly to himself as Gou re-entered the room, dressed in her school uniform once again.

"Alright, I'm off." She smiled, walking over to Makoto and rising onto her tiptoes. He smiled in return, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her up to his lips.

Haruka averted his eyes and stared hard at the glass of water in front of him, wanting nothing more than to throw it at the couple.

"Bye Haru." Gou said as she left the room.

"Bye." He muttered in return, never glancing up from his drink.

"Want to go play video games?" Makoto asked once the click of the front door was heard.

Without a word Haruka rose to his feet and headed towards the hallway, knowing with just a look he could convey all he needed to.

"I'll just get a drink and meet you there." Makoto chuckled as he watched his best friends retreating form.

Once Haruka was back in his friend's room, he picked up the sleep shirt that he'd dropped earlier in his haste and placed it back on the bed, removing any evidence he'd already been here. He then placed his drink on the desk and with a quick flick of the wrist he knocked the picture, watching with satisfaction as it slipped between the wood and the wall.

"Oops." He muttered, allowing himself a small smile. It was only a small victory but he counted it as a triumph none the less.

"You can pick the game." Makoto said, causing Haruka to jump slightly in guilt as he walked in the room.

"Okay." He bent down to go through the games, watching from the corner of his eye as Makoto placed his glass down next to his own, not noticing anything was missing from the desk. Haruka allowed himself another smile as he inserted the game.

"I do like Gou, you know?" Haruka said after his character beat Makoto's for the fifth time.

"You do?" Makoto asked, looking towards his friend.

"Yeah, really." He replied, keeping his eyes forward so Makoto wouldn't be able to see the lies. He was only saying this to see him smile and he wasn't even able to appreciate it.

"I'm glad you do, you know. It means a lot to me. You're both so important to me." He admitted, Haruka flushing slightly at the comment.

The pair began another game in silence. Not long after, Makoto began speaking again, breaking Haruka's concentration.

"The three of us should do something tomorrow evening." He said, using Haruka's distraction as a chance to win for the first time.

"I'm not sure." Haruka mumbled. Spending a whole evening with the young lovers was his idea of hell.

"Why not? I barely get to see you anymore." Makoto whined playfully.

_I wonder whose fault that is_, Haruka thought bitterly, images of Gou flashing through his mind.

"You're seeing me now." He offered instead, but Haruka knew once Makoto had his heart set on an idea he'd find a way to get him to agree.

"Come on Haru-chan, just to see a film or something?" He said, eyes wide and shining with a small pout that could rival Nagisa. Haruka could feel his heart warming slightly at the look.

"Just a film?" He questioned, hesitantly.

"Just a film." Makoto nodded, the look replaced with a smile and Haruka knew he was finished.

"Fine, if we must." He acquiesced with a sigh.

"Thanks Haru." He smiled, swinging an arm around the smaller boy's shoulders, the heat returning to Haruka's cheeks. "Besides, it's better than sitting in the bath all night." He laughed.

"Sure." Haruka mumbled.

Although spending the night with Makoto was something he was looking forward to, knowing that Gou would be there as well did put a dampener on his spirits. Playing third wheel in a dark cinema, he was beginning to regret this decision already.

…

_Hope you all like it :)_


	4. Chapter 4

_Thanks again to Zaabeth for going through this chapter for me :) much love!_

…

Haruka sat on the edge of his bed, staring down at his phone as he mindlessly spun it between his thumb and finger. His screen showed Makoto's number, waiting for him to gain the courage to press call. He decided to cancel tonight – he'd actually decided this almost as soon as he'd made the plans, but here he was, an hour before he was due to leave and he had yet to follow through.

He'd avoided the subject all day at school, knowing if he tried to do it face to face he'd end up caving. But yet even now, he was still reluctant. Knowing that even over the phone Makoto had a power over him, he could get him to bend to his whim without even trying.

Haruka pressed the call button and slowly brought the phone to his ear, deciding feigning illness was his best form of attack. It also had the potential to result in a night in with Makoto taking care of him.

"Hi." A high-pitched voice screeched down his ear. Haruka pulled the phone away in shock and glanced towards the screen to confirm he'd called Makoto. "Hello?" The voice repeated as he brought the phone back.

"Gou?" Haruka questioned.

"Hey Haru." She greeted happily. "What can I do for you?"

"Where's Makoto?" He asked, completely skipping her question.

"He's in the bathroom." She explained.

"Right, so about tonight." He began, hoping cancelling with Gou would involve less questioning and guilt tripping.

"It's going to be so much fun Haru! I've got a little surprise for you." She sung down the phone as he winced slightly.

"You do? Does it involve water?" He asked hopefully, he could maybe get through the night if he was promised a dip in the water afterwards, or maybe even the ocean.

"Nope, even better." She gushed to a disbelieving Haruka. There was only one thing in his mind that was better than water and he was currently trapped in Gou's hold.

"Right." He said hesitantly, even more convinced he'd have to skip tonight. "But I…"

"You're not wearing that." Gou shouted suddenly, cutting him off.

"What?" He asked in confusion, looking down at his own outfit that consisted of nothing more than swimming shorts.

"Not you, Mako-chan." She said as he heard faint mutterings from Makoto at the other end. "Because I don't like the blue shirt." She nagged to more mumblings. "The red one I bought for you."

Haruka rolled his eyes at the couple, if Makoto was his boyfriend he wouldn't be bothered what he wore, he could wear anything he wanted, or nothing if he felt so inclined. Haruka wouldn't complain.

"Haru?" She asked, bringing him back to her world. "I'm going to have to hand you over to Makoto, apparently my boyfriend is completely incapable of choosing his own clothes."

"Sure." He responded to the sounds of movement.

"Hello Haru-chan." Makoto said, voice deflated. Haruka's heart broke at the sound.

Did he not see how she affected him? How his usual bright flame always seemed dimmer with her words? How his smile never reached his eyes when she pestered? Was he truly happy with her or did he only think he was?

"Makoto?" He whispered into the phone, the worry clearly lacing his words.

"I'm fine." Makoto said.

"You sound it." Haruka muttered, his friend laughing at his sarcasm.

"I am, I get to see you tonight, how could I not be?" He joked, Haruka's cheeks flushing slightly at his statement.

"Yeah, about that." He begun only to be cut off by Makoto's frustrated sigh.

"Fine, I'll wear the red shirt. I literally don't care." He snapped, Haruka caught between feeling smug and feeling upset. Smug in the knowledge Makoto never snapped at him like that, no matter how difficult he could be at times, but upset that his usually calm and patient best friend was feeling this way.

"Sorry, Haru. You were saying." Makoto said, re-joining the conversation.

"I don't think…" Haruka trailed off. He couldn't cancel on his friend, he couldn't leave him alone with Gou, he couldn't let her take away his light. Makoto needed him. "I can't remember where we're meeting."

"Oh, just outside the cinema at 6." He told him, slightly surprised, knowing Haruka well enough to expect an excuse to opt out.

"Okay, I'll see you then." Haruka said, mentally scolding himself for being so weak.

"Alright." He replied, Haruka practically hearing his smile from through the phone.

"And Makoto?" He asked just before the other had a chance to hang up.

"Yeah?"

"You look good in blue." He whispered in a rushed breath before hanging up the phone, his cheeks blazing as he did, unsure as to why he'd felt the need to tell Makoto that. If he wasn't careful his secret would be out very soon and with it the potential loss of his friendship with Makoto.

…

Anger, fury, regret, humiliation.

Just some of the words currently describing Haruka's mood. He was standing outside the cinema with two other people, however, neither one of them was Makoto. Instead he was with Gou and her friend, who'd been lovingly introduced as Hana-chan. Clearly, this was the surprise Gou was referring to earlier, and while he would admit it was unexpected it was most definitely not appreciated, and now he was part of an awkward double date.

Although, it had never been referred to as such, the other girl apparently had nothing better to do tonight so Gou had invited her along as she was sure he wouldn't mind. Then she gave him another one of her stupid winks, as if there was a secret between them but it seemed Haruka himself wasn't even in on it.

"Here are the tickets." Makoto said, arriving to the group. Haruka's foul mood was forgotten briefly when he realised the other was wearing a blue top, rather than the red his girlfriend had undoubtedly tried to force on him.

"Great." Gou said, snatching the tickets from his hands and turning to Haruka. "We're watching The Conjuring. Hana-chan and I have been dying to see it but we were too scared to go alone."

"And now we have you two to protect us." Chigusa said, lightly nudging Haruka with her shoulder.

"But you hate horror films." Haruka said, turning to Makoto. He barely registered the unexpected contact from the girl.

"You do?" Gou questioned in surprise.

"Well it's not my favourite thing in the word." Makoto admitted, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh, well I guess I'll be the one protecting you." Gou joked, grabbing his other hand and dragging him into the cinema.

"Come on Haruka." Chigusa smiled, following after the couple, Haruka awkwardly falling into line beside her with his hands buried deep in his pockets in case she tried a similar move as Gou.

"Bathroom!" Gou suddenly announced, releasing her hold on Makoto in favour of Chigusa, pulling her in too.

Once they were gone Haruka began eyeing up the doors, wondering how far he could outrun Makoto before he became out of breath and gave up.

"I'm sorry." Makoto said placing his hand on Haruka's shoulder, almost sensing the others need to bolt. "It was all Gou's idea."

Haruka turned towards his friend and gave him a look – a little pre-warning would have been appreciated in this situation. Makoto read the look easily.

"I only found out after our phone call, and Gou was adamant that it remained a surprise." Haruka only frowned in response. "I know you hate surprises but Gou convinced me you'd be happy. Apparently you and Chigusa had a moment the other day and then I was more annoyed that you didn't mention anything to me about it to think about texting you in advance to warn you." Makoto rambled.

Haruka watched the nervous words tumble from his best friend's mouth, feeling his anger disperse. He gently laid a hand on his arm and offered him a small smile, effectively stopping the speech and showing that all was forgiven. He only released the other once they were re-joined by the girls.

…

Haruka's head slouched slightly onto his own shoulder, eyes glazed over in boredom. So far the film had all the elements of a predictable horror movie – ghost attacks, exorcisms, possession. Personally he was finding it particularly dull.

He rolled his eyes as the character on screen found a secret passage in one of the rooms, appearing to have no issues walking straight in, no questions asked. He was just about to slouch further in his seat when there was some unexpected contact, his hand tightly encased in warmth. But it wasn't coming from his right where Chigusa sat, far too engrossed in the film to even pay the slightest bit of attention to her supposed date. Instead it came from his left where Makoto sat, eyes wide with panic and terror, yet still fixed on the screen.

Haruka gently brought his other hand over and placed it on top of Makoto's, silently letting him know he was there and he had nothing to fear. Although Makoto's expression never changed and his eyes never moved, Haruka could sense the slight relief radiating off his friend. However, the moment was short lived. Soon there was a spirit on the screen and Haruka found himself nearly pinned to his chair by Makoto's panicked attempt to hide.

Gou looked over to the boys in amusement, offering a quick mouthed apology at her boyfriend's behaviour. Haruka just shrugged in response as he felt Makoto burying his head deeper into his neck at the sounds of the girl's screams.

He found he no longer cared about how boring the film was, or how foreseeable the general storyline was, or even how fake the acting seemed. Instead all he cared about was the tingle he felt from Makoto's gentle breath fanning against his skin.

…

Haruka's eyes scanned the menu currently in his hand, silently fuming that he'd been dragged to dinner tonight as well. He was currently alone with Makoto at the table, their legs so close to touching he could feel the heat. A small part of him wanted to vent his anger, drag the latter out of there so they could go home, but instead he found himself imagining a world where this was real.

A couple out together for dinner, not caring as others stared at them, whispering secrets in each other's ears, laughing too loudly as they enjoyed the other's company, far too wrapped up in each other. He imagined Makoto leaning into him, gently brushing aside a few stray hairs and peppering his neck with kisses, slowly upwards towards his ear. Once he had reached his destination he'd gently bite down on Haruka's ear lobe and whisper all the things he wanted to do to him but that would have to wait until they were alone.

"Look Haru, they have mackerel." Makoto said, leaning towards his friend and placing a hand on his thigh.

Haruka, still wrapped up in his fantasy, forgot himself and allowed a needy moan to escape his lips. Makoto quickly pulled back his hand, stuttering over a jumble of incoherent words, while Haruka busied himself with the menu trying to hide his blush, unbeknownst to him the other doing exactly the same.

"Chigusa!" Makoto called out, breaking the silence that had fallen on the pair after Haruka's accidental moan. "Why don't you sit next to Haru-chan?" He asked, jumping up far too quickly and moving to the other side of the table.

Ready to tell him to drop the chan he was soon cut off by the feel of Chigusa sitting far too close to him, her arm lightly brushing against his own, her overly flowery perfume assaulting his nose. He had to resist the urge to recoil away from her knowing he'd just get nagged by Makoto if he did.

The rest of the time went fine. They managed to order and then the three chatted happily while Haruka offered the occasional nod of agreement. It seemed to be going without a hitch until their dinner arrived.

The sight of the mackerel reminded Makoto of that earlier moment. His blush returned, and once again he was flustering through his words. His hands shook slightly, clumsily spilling salt across the table. Gou was quick to help him.

While the other couple was distracted, Chigusa decided it was the time to make her move. Haruka's eyes widened slightly as his chopsticks clattered to the table. She had placed a hand on his thigh, too high up for any comfort, and instead of eliciting the same response as Makoto's, it only caused him alarm.

His panicked eyes looked towards his best friend, hoping he'd provide some form of help, but he didn't come through for him. Instead, Makoto gave him a small, sad smile before letting his gaze drop to his food.

Haruka's eyebrows shot up in confusion. He knew that smile. He'd perfected that smile. It was the same smile he gave Makoto every time he talked about Gou, every time he kissed Gou, every time he was with Gou. Why would Makoto be giving him _that_ smile?

Before he had a chance to question it further he felt the hand slowly rising up his leg. He needed to get out, to get some form of aid. Using his free leg he quickly kicked out, hitting Makoto under the table.

"Ah!" Makoto yelped, successfully creating a diversion and stopping the trailing hand.

"Sorry, big feet." Haruka fake-apologised, shuffling uncomfortably in his chair.

"You know what they say about men with big feet?" Chigusa whispered, bringing her hand away from his thigh and up to his chest.

"He must have big shoes." Makoto grumbled, glaring angrily at the couple.

Gou giggled slightly at Makoto's response while Haruka felt his heart fluttering at the behaviour. He seemed to be displaying similar mannerism to himself when he was forced to spend time with Gou and Makoto.

He no longer cared about the failed attempts at getting him interested from Chigusa. The thought alone that Makoto could potentially be jealous managed to get him through the rest of the meal.

…

The foursome walked down the street, Haruka's arms tightly folded across his chest to avoid Chigusa making another grab for his swaying hand. Makoto and Gou, walking slightly ahead, glanced over their shoulders at the possible new couple, Gou offering a disappointed look at the lack of contact while Makoto seeming rather relieved. Haruka's heart did summersaults again at his expression.

He slowed his pace and turned towards the stairs leading towards his home, only to freeze when a hand lightly gripped his tricep.

"Aren't you going to walk me home?" Chigusa's voice whined, Haruka turning back towards the girl with a confused expression.

"But I live here." He explained. Why would he walk for an extra mile only to have to turn back the other way?

"Oh okay." She said quietly, letting her gaze drop to the floor. "I had fun tonight."

Rather than lie Haruka offered no words in return and continued his journey, listening as the voices of the two girls became distant whispers.

Letting himself into his house he sighed at the darkness, another lonely night in ahead of him. He jumped slightly when he noticed an arm coming though his door frame, preventing him from shutting it. He watched as it was forced open and Makoto stepped through, his body filling the frame.

"That was rude Haru." He scolded, crossing his arms at the smaller boy.

"I didn't think you'd be bothered." Haruka shrugged.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He questioned, Haruka only rewarding him with a look, letting him know his behaviour tonight hadn't gone unnoticed.

Makoto's cheeks flared as he flustered, his arms dropping back to his side in embarrassment.

"Well, that was… I… You didn't…" He stuttered, failing to complete a sentence. "That still doesn't mean you should let a girl walk home alone at night." He said, finally finding his feet.

"Look, I said I'd be civil to Gou, not all her little followers."

"What do you mean be civil? You told me you liked Gou." He accused.

"You're just splitting hairs." He huffed, hoping for a subject change.

"Do you actually like her?" Makoto asked, Haruka wincing as he noticed the crack in his voice.

"You know I do." He muttered.

"Look me in the eye and say that." He challenged, Haruka's gaze never raising from the floor. "I knew it! I knew you were lying to me."

"What do you want from me?" Haruka groaned. He'd tried but Makoto didn't seem to appreciate that.

"I wanted the truth! You're my best friend!" He exclaimed, stunning Haruka to silence. "I wouldn't have cared if you hated Gou, if anything I would have expected it from you. But all I wanted was for you to be honest with me. But it seems like I can't even get that."

Frustrated, Makoto ran his fingers though his hair before turning on his heels, Haruka watching helplessly as he headed back out the door.

"Makoto, where are you going?" He asked desperately.

"I'm walking Chigusa home, because clearly you aren't going to do it." He shouted, pulling the door shut behind him.

Haruka stood in his hall, staring at the now closed door, his hands clenched at his side. Half of him wanting to run down the steps and hold Makoto until everything was alright between them, the other half stubbornly wanting to wait for Makoto to come back to him as he always did.

He and Makoto had never fought like this. Over the years they'd had small disagreements, but they'd usually be forgotten within a matter of minutes. But this time it seemed far more serious. The way Makoto walked away seemed definitive, as if he'd finally grown tired of this friendship, the burden becoming too much causing him to cast it aside.

And although he knew he was to blame Haruka couldn't stop himself attributing some of this to Gou. She insisted they try, insisted on forcing her friend on him, insisted they kept it all a little secret. If he'd just been open from the beginning then everything would have been fine, he wouldn't have potentially lost someone he loved so dearly.

…

_Hope you liked it_


	5. Chapter 5

_Wow guys, over 100 follows and 50+ reviews and favourites, never realised this story would be so well received :) thanks so much!_

_And thanks to Zaabeth for going through it with a fine toothed comb and making it perfect for me!_

…

Haruka trudged towards school, hair still dripping wet from his bath that overran this morning. He was used to being woken by at least a text from Makoto if the real thing was with Gou, but this morning he'd overslept and his whole routine was running behind.

He and Makoto hadn't spoken again since that night. He'd wanted to see him but yet never brought himself to do it. He'd analysed the night over and over, every look Makoto had sent his way, every subtle touch, every smile, every laugh, every bristle at Chigusa's flirting, every glare he shot at her. And every time he reached the same conclusion.

Makoto had been jealous.

He never believed that Makoto would be the type to get jealous, especially over him, but he had definitely witnessed that last night. He'd remembered his Grandma once telling him that even the most docile of men can become possessive if his hold on someone special is threatened. But why should Haruka's relationships bother him? He hadn't even batted an eyelid when their waiter had shamelessly flirted with Gou and yet every slight glance from Chigusa had riled him up completely.

But due to their sudden distance after the double date he hadn't had a chance to talk about it, not that he really knew what he'd ask without sounding strange. Questioning your best friend's jealousy was hardly normal.

A loud bell broke him out of his thoughts, a slight sigh escaping his lips as he stepped through the gates, realising he was officially late.

Eventually he arrived at his classroom, all eyes travelling towards him in the doorway, questioning why he was late and why he wasn't with Makoto, who was already in his seat, the only pair of eyes not looking his way.

"Nice of you to join us Nanase-kun." His teacher muttered, quickly turning back towards the paper on her desk.

Without offering an apology for his lateness he walked towards his seat, hoping that he'd catch his friend's eye as he went. But even when he deliberately made a scene of pulling his chair out Makoto hadn't even flinched.

He tried to tune out the other voices in his class but the whispers reached his ears anyway, little snide comments about the lover's quarrel between them, part of him knowing Makoto would be able to hear them as well. Over the years there'd been quite a few rumours about the pair, about their questionable relationship. Most thought they were too close, but it had never bothered them. Makoto had just laughed it off before, but today that didn't seem to be the case. Today, his eyes were set forward, a slight scowl on his face as a blush rose to his cheeks. Today, the jokes he usually brushed off seemed to be affecting him, embarrassing him.

He sat and watched the taller boy, knowing Makoto would be able to feel his eyes on him, but he didn't acknowledge it like usual. He didn't look up from his book and offer him the smile that brightened his day. Haruka knew Makoto wasn't reading, he could tell just by looking at his eyes, those green orbs didn't excitedly flutter across the page as usual, they hardly moved.

Haruka wanted to reach over to him, communicate with him in some way, but he couldn't find his voice, he was almost scared to talk to him and he hated that feeling. He was his best friend, the person to whom he could be himself in a way nobody else would understand. And yet here he was, swallowing back his words.

Makoto continued to give him the cold shoulder, never once letting his attention drift towards Haruka despite how close their chairs were, eyes constantly burning holes into his book. At least until the bell rung and Makoto practically jumped to his feet to run from the class, seeming overly excited to get to his next lesson. A lesson he didn't share with Haruka.

Haruka slowly rose to his own feet, watching the door that his best friend had recently departed out of, ignoring the jostling group of boys making their way past.

"Trouble in paradise Nanase?" They jeered, only laughing further when he shot a cold glare in their direction.

With a groan he threw his bag onto his shoulder before departing the room, hoping he'd see Makoto at lunch and this whole thing would be forgotten.

…

"Haru!" A voice called out as he walked down the crowded school corridors. He had to suppress the urge to grimace at the sound of Gou's shrill call.

Usually when his name was called out it would be Makoto, Haruka would find himself subconsciously slowing down until the other was by his side, offering him some anecdote about his last class. But he didn't slow down for Gou, instead he continued on his journey, hoping to slip into his next lesson before she arrived.

Suddenly, he felt an arm loop around his own, indicating Gou was here with him, her grip tight.

"Hana-chan was talking about you." She smirked, her eyes sparkling as she looked up at him.

"Really?" He asked uninterested. Part of him wanted to pull away from her and completely ignore her presence but after his disaster the other night he didn't want to upset Makoto further. He wanted to at least try with Gou.

"Yeah, she'd love to do something again with you." She gushed, excitement filling her voice.

"We'll see." He said, not really wanting to commit to another double date, even with the potential of seeing Makoto jealous again.

"It will have to be next week though." She explained. "Completely booked this week."

Haruka felt her looking up at him expectantly. He knew that she wanted him to question what kept her so busy. Despite what most people thought he didn't lack the basics of social finesse, he just chose to ignore them.

"Why?" He hesitantly asked, watching the smile spread across her cheeks.

"Well, Rin's got some time off from school, study leave or something like that, and Mum's insisting he comes home so he'll be here tomorrow. Mum wanted him home tonight but apparently he has important things he has to do before he gets here. Personally I just think he doesn't want to leave Nitori. He's so used to being with him he probably wouldn't be able to sleep without him in the same room." Gou laughed, Haruka's eyes widening as she continued to rattle off information to him at an alarming speed. "But, as of tomorrow, every night becomes a family fun night, meaning no dates for us all again but it does mean I can spend time with my Onee-san."

"Sounds fun." He managed to slip in before she talked further.

"Yeah, but it does mean that I can't really see much of Mako-chan." She pouted.

"Can't he join you?" He asked bitterly, images of Makoto being dragged into the Matsuoka family assaulting his mind.

"Not exactly." She bit her lip slightly. Haruka, being very good at reading people, could see the guilt flash across her eyes.

"Why?" His interest slightly peaked.

"I haven't exactly told Rin about me and Makoto." She admitted.

"Why not?" He questioned, his feet drawing to a halt, forcing Gou to stop too.

"You know what he can be like. He's so protective of me I'm worried he'd threaten poor Makoto and scare him away. I'm going to try easing him into it before just dropping the bombshell."

"Don't you think he'll be worse when he finds out you've been lying to him?" He winced slightly, an angry Rin was not something he wanted after Makoto.

"We'll worry about that if we get there." She shrugged. "Oh yikes, I'm going to be late." She offered a quick goodbye before rushing to her class.

Haruka slowly journeyed towards his own classroom alone, thinking about what Gou had told him. Did Makoto know that their relationship was a secret? That she was so uncertain about his commitment that she couldn't tell her own brother? He knew he wouldn't know. Gou was beginning to show how secretive she could be, and he didn't doubt that Makoto wouldn't be an exception.

…

It wasn't better at lunch. Makoto continued to ignore him, only focusing on his lunch and not the others around him. Even though Haruka nudged him gently against his knee, his stomach rumbled loud enough for everyone to hear but he never got permission to share.

"Mako-chan!" Nagisa shouted, running onto the roof, dragging Rei behind him.

"Yes?" He asked, head turning towards the door with a fake smile, Haruka noticing it straight away.

"When do your parents go on holiday?" He asked, dropping to his knees next to him.

Haruka turned towards the conversation, vaguely remembering a mention of Makoto's parents taking the twins on a trip, Makoto refusing to join in case he missed important school work. At the time Haruka had known he'd been lying, his real reason for staying was to look after him. But if it continued like this he didn't imagine he'd get much looking after.

"They're probably on their way now." He shrugged, staring down at the food that he struggled to finish alone.

"Perfect!" Nagisa exclaimed, shaking the older boy's arm.

"Why?" Makoto questioned, slightly confused.

"Because we're going to have a sleepover at your place." He stated. "Maybe we should set up tents in the living room so it will be like we're camping."

"We can't, it's a school night." Rei reminded him but it didn't damper the excitement.

"He has no parents so it's fine." Nagisa said, waving off the problem. "So, what do you say Mako-chan?"

He turned towards him and provided him with the full force of his begging eyes. Haruka and Rei just watched as Makoto's walls slowly crumbled down.

"Sure, you can all stay." He caved, offering the group his warm smile.

"You coming too Haruka-senpai?" Rei asked, bringing him into the conversation for the first time.

Makoto turned towards him and gave him a quick nod, going unnoticed by the younger boys. He turned towards Rei and gave him a nod of his own.

"Great!" Nagisa smiled, excitedly chatting about the evening to Rei.

Haruka felt a light pressure on his knee where Makoto had placed the lunch box, an apologetic smile on the taller boy's lips silently telling him that everything was alright with them again. He felt a small smile tug at his own as his gaze dropped down to his lunch and begun hungrily eating the lunch lovingly prepared that morning, his ears tuning out Nagisa further.

…

"Nagisa! That's cheating!" Rei called, keeping his eyes fixed on the screen while also trying to fight off the blond demon.

They'd been playing video games in Makoto's living room and as soon as it seemed like Rei would beat him Nagisa had decided to physically throw himself against the other, almost forcing him to the ground.

"I'm not doing anything." He protested, pushing his weight onto him further. "I just want to be close to my Rei-chan."

The words caused the boy to blush and become flustered, quickly falling forward against the floor, bringing Nagisa crashing down on top of him. In his current position, Rei's hands were trapped under his chest, while Nagisa could still move freely and soon began to turn the game around.

"Get off me!" Rei cried out, squirming beneath the other.

"I can't! We're like magnets never to be separated." He purred into the taller boy's ear, only deepening the blush on his cheeks.

Haruka rolled his eyes slightly and gracefully pushed himself to his feet, he walked into the kitchen, leaving the now play-fighting boys in hopes of finding Makoto.

"Hello Haru-chan." Makoto said cheerfully, not once looking up from the food he was preparing for his friends.

"Drop the chan." He muttered, knowing it fell on deaf ears. He walked over to his friend and leaned against the stone counter top.

He knew that everything had been forgotten, that the past few days had never happened. Makoto had happily chatted to him on the way home as if he had never ignored him in the first place, but Haruka wasn't sure it was enough. For the first time in his life he wanted to talk it through, find out what had really bothered Makoto that night.

"I'm sorry." He suddenly announced, causing Makoto to drop the knife he was holding in surprise.

"Damn." Makoto muttered, bringing his now bleeding finger to his mouth. "You don't have anything to apologise for."

"I do." Haruka said, feeling his throat go dry as he watched Makoto's lips delicately sucking on his own finger. How many times had he imagined himself in a similar position?

"You don't. I know you don't like Gou or Chigusa, and I shouldn't have forced you to come out with us. If anything I'm the one who should be sorry." He smiled as Haruka rolled his eyes. How typical of Makoto to take the blame for something that was clearly not his fault.

"Why were you jealous?" He asked bluntly, never letting his eyes meet the other's. He knew if he did he would have to fight off a blush.

"I wasn't jealous." Makoto protested immediately, nervously tugging the hair at the base of his neck. A sign that told Haruka he was lying. "I was just a little shocked, that's all. I wasn't used to seeing you like that with someone who isn't… another person."

"I don't like her." Haruka pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I know, I could tell." He laughed slightly, smiling widely at him. "I keep telling Gou that but she's still trying to arrange another outing next week."

"Great." He muttered, thoughts of his conversation with Gou from earlier. "I'm surprised she's not doing something this week."

"She can't." He shrugged, going back to his cooking.

"Why not?" He probed.

"Family stuff or something, she was pretty vague." Makoto admitted, dropping his cut up vegetables into the simmering pot.

"I have to go for a walk." Haruka growled, his fists clenching at his sides. The realisation that Gou was lying to Makoto hitting him at full force.

"What? Now?" Makoto called after him, but he didn't stop until he was on the street, never once answering his questions.

…

His walk had turned into a jog, his anger towards Gou going with every foot on the ground. How dare she lie to Makoto? Sweet, gentle Makoto who wouldn't question anything she told him, just believe all the words she said. She took his trusting nature and was using it against him.

He hadn't realised where his feet were taking him until he saw the familiar arc of Samezuka Academy coming into view. He was here to see Rin, tell him the truth, release Makoto from the web of lies Gou had weaved.

Once his fist hit against the door of Rin's dorm he realised he didn't know where to go from here, he hadn't prepared what he wanted to say.

"Haruka?" Nitori asked once he opened the door. "What are you doing here?" He smiled warmly, opening the door widely as if to invite him in.

"Is Rin here?" He questioned, nervously glancing at the empty room behind him.

"No, he's getting some things before he goes home." He explained. "You're more than welcome to wait for him."

"No." He shook his head, beginning to lose his nerve.

"Can I take a message?" Nitori offered helpfully.

"Yes." Haruka nodded slowly, Nitori looking at him expectantly.

"And that is?" He tilted his head slightly.

"Makoto and Gou are dating." He said in a rushed breath before turning to leave. "You found that out from someone else." He shouted.

"Sure." Nitori said in confusion, watching as the taller boy stumbled away from him down the corridor.

He felt guilt wrack through his body, knowing that once Rin found out he'd come after Makoto. By telling him Haruka had essentially put out a death note on his best friend. Although he'd told Nitori to keep his name out of it, the boy had more loyalty to Rin than himself. If he asked where this mysterious information came from he was bound to be told.

As he made his way back to Makoto's house he wondered whether he should warn his friend, let him know that his anger had got the better of him and he'd interfered. But he knew he wouldn't, he knew he'd act like his walk hadn't happened and just make the most of his time with Makoto. Before Rin got to him.

…

"What's that?" Makoto's hoarse voice called out, waking Haruka up fully, the constant ringing at the door had first roused him from sleep.

"Isn't it your doorbell?" He replied tiredly, he'd gotten very little sleep last night thanks to the guilt from telling Rin, and the constant giggling from the other tent didn't help either.

"Why? It's so early." He mumbled, pushing himself up into a seated position.

Makoto began crawling out of the tent, climbing over Haruka as he went. Through the course of the night Haruka had ended up in front of exit. If he reached up to grab his waist he could hold Makoto in place, maybe even lift his lips up the brunette's and finally make a reality something he'd only imagined for months. But it was early in the morning and his reflexes weren't quick enough to act on his thoughts. And by the time he had even processed any of this Makoto was already leaving the tent.

He listened to his friend moving around outside, a string of profanities leaving his lips as he stubbed his toe against the sofa and fell to the ground. With a roll of his eyes, Haruka soon exited the tent and silently made his way towards the door for Makoto.

"Rin?" He asked in surprise when he noticed the person on the other side.

"Where is he?" He growled, pushing past Haruka and letting himself into the house.

"Rin? What are you doing here?" Makoto smiled, joining the two boys in the hall.

Haruka's gaze flicked nervously between Rin and Makoto, knowing that smile wouldn't last much longer.

"I came to talk to you." Rin said, his voice dangerously low.

Haruka made his way over to the pair, standing near to Makoto and ready to defend him if need be. He could already feel the guilt seeing back to him.

"About what Rin?" Makoto asked, nervously reaching out for hem of Haruka's shirt. He could obviously sense Rin's tone and knew he was not happy.

"About you and my little sister." He crossed his arms and rose an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, you found out about that." He said, side stepping so he was stood behind Haruka now. Despite towering over him Makoto still used him as a shield when he felt threatened.

"Yeah, I found out." He sneered. "Now I don't like being lied to and I don't like some guy dating Gou. But you're not just some guy Tachibana, you're a good guy." He said sighing slightly, letting his eyes flutter closed. "And if my little sister has to date some big, burly guy from Iwatobi, I'm glad it's you."

"What?" Makoto asked, moving out from his hiding place.

"I know you'll treat her right." He said, a rare smile gracing his lips, a slight hint of a threat laced his words.

"Of course I will." He nodded, Haruka hearing his nervous swallow echo off the walls.

"That's all I really wanted to say to you." Rin nervously rubbed the back of his neck, turning towards the door.

"Wait! Rin!" Makoto reached out and grabbed his arm. "At least stay for some breakfast."

"As long as Haru isn't cooking mackerel I'm up for that." He joked.

"Don't worry, I'll make it." Makoto laughed, swinging his arm around the red haired boy's neck and leading him towards the kitchen.

Haruka watched as the two of them left the hallway, without once glancing back at him, joking among themselves. He tried desperately to ignore the feeling of disappointment within his chest. Rin approved of his best friend's relationship, he should feel relieved. But he didn't. Instead he felt annoyance bubbling up inside him as he crawled back into his tent, trying to block out the voices from the kitchen as he attempted to fall back to sleep.

What was he hoping to achieve by telling Rin? That he would forbid Makoto from seeing Gou anymore? He should have known nobody would split the couple apart, once they looked into Makoto's soft green eyes they caved, let him get whatever he wanted.

With the one possible obstacle in their relationship removed Haruka felt like he'd lost, Makoto had slipped completely out of his grasp and there was no way to possibly get him back, no matter how hard he tried, and he had tried every angle. Why couldn't he just be happy for his friend? If he truly loved him shouldn't he let him go?

But he knew he would never let him go, until his dying breath he would continue to fight for Makoto, because as his Grandmother had said, even the most docile of men can become possessive if his hold on someone special is threatened, and Haruka was no exception.

…

_Hope you liked it_


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